One Term Ends…

And how do I feel about the piece of work I ended up submitting. honestly?

I think it’s the best short script I have ever written. I’m happy with the characters, the arc, the ending.  the dialogue, as with all scripts, could be worked upon and revised ad infinitum, and I feel there are a few places it clunked when it should dance.  but anyway.

Never I might add have I written more drafts of a single… script, poem or anything. to be frank, I busted my balls over this.  finding layers (the punch and Judy theme which runs throughout, for instance, is not refined to Judy’s dream sequence and the final line.  the title ‘bottler’ is seen in modern English slang as ‘coward’ however in ‘Punch and Judy’ law it was someone who egged the crowd on and collected money for the performance’. which could describe the job Judy does for Amy?

The maid refers to Judy as Mrs Poinçon. I do not know how accurate the translation is, but if you put ‘Punch’ into Google translate and select French; it comes up with poinçon. Making Judy literally ‘Mrs Punch’.

So… how was it received?   Well, I seem to have earned a 2:1 for it.  which many people tell me I should be proud of.  But frankly I’m not. I want to scream to the gods of academia ‘what do these people want’.

But this is, of course, an entirely self-serving and egotistical point of view.  I have received tutor feedback and I will here address it.

Point 1. I have learning difficulties and no matter how I try. I will never be able to retain some common grammatical truths.  I.E. there, they’re and their. I will NEVER get them right.  I’ve have learnt the difference so many times.  and the difference stays in my brain for at most 15 minutes before slipping out of my ear and running away.  its the same for most grammar rules.  how on earth can I hope to be a writer then?  I just bloody will.  OKAY?
But as for the grammar in the script.  Oh my god! I am so so so very embarrassed.  never have I submitted a piece of work this poor in terms of grammar and spelling.  The reason I believe is that though I had it proofed a few times.  I had so many versions of the damn thing and was constantly taking bits from one version and pasting into other versions to create even more versions.  I think I just buried the corrections. ending up with a script which though good, looked like it had never been proofread and was hideously full of mistakes.

Note to any student who should find this.  install Grammarly.  Trust me.

2. The character of Judy does not come across as evil enough.  To this, I can say WHAT?  She pimps out her own children to PEDO’s… how evil do you want?

3. Judy would be more interesting if she wasn’t off her face on drugs and washed out.  ok.. this is a point.  I don’t think it’s true.  I think I failed to make her interesting enough as she was.  I wanted the audience to feel sympathy for Judy until they realise what she is like and then switch allegiances. I think it works to a degree. and some females who have read it have reported feeling ‘uncomfortable’ but in a good way ‘from a film point of view’.
But at the end of the day there are problems here and they are mine.

So… Alas the final grade was just and fair, and I’m still pissed off.  I feel I came to within a gnat’s wing or greatness.

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